Conversion and Divorce

Jenny was happily married to David. They moved from one state to another in the US due to David’s job and they actually succeeded in amassing a small fortune. When they were in their mid- 30’s, they decided to move to Israel with their three children.

David came from a secular family and Jenny from a more traditional one. The only particularity of the case was that Jenny’s mother converted to Judaism by an Orthodox Rabbi in the US, but her parents never entered into a “Jewish Marriage”, theirs was a civil American one.

Jenny’s mother never had a real link to any Jewish community; the only reason she converted was to marry Jenny’s father.

After a few years in Israel, David and Jenny were not getting along. After trying therapy, they decided to separate. David, who consulted with a lawyer, sued his wife for divorce first - in the rabbinic court.

Jenny felt that she would be at a disadvantage in the rabbinic court, so decided to file for divorce at the civil court. She claimed that she was not Jewish because her mother’s conversion was not “kosher” and therefore the marriage with David was not a Jewish marriage, and in this case the rabbinic court would not have jurisdiction. This was the biggest mistake she could have committed and she and her children paid a price she could not have imagined.

Jenny’s lawyer was not a religious person; therefore he was not fully aware of the implications for his client and her children by choosing the path they chose. They claimed that the mother never followed Judaism and was still Christian in her beliefs, etc.

After a few hearings, Jenny’s lawyer succeeded in convincing the rabbinical court and the jurisdiction passed to the civil court. Jenny “got a better deal”, no doubt. David ended up paying a larger sum for child support and she received a larger sum as alimony for herself because the case dragged on for a long period.

The problems started a few months after the divorce had ended. Her life and her children’s life changed, and not for better.

Jenny, after 10 years, is still divorced.

Rose, Jenny’s oldest daughter became engaged to a nice man. They set a date and went to the rabbinate to “open a file for the marriage”. Because Jenny succeeded so well in getting a few thousand dollars more, her tactics made it clear to the rabbinate that she was not - and therefore her children were not - Jewish! In order for Rose to marry this Jewish man, she would have to convert. The groom’s family wouldn’t accept the fact that their son was marrying a convert, especially one who had “lied about her situation”.

Jenny had to start the conversion process from the very beginning and so did her children. Because they had very little religious education, the process took more than two years and was painful for all of them. A word of Wisdom:

Lies are a strong weapon but as our sages say, they can be a “Cherev Pifiot” - A double-edged sword and this you should avoid at any price. It is better to receive less alimony, not to lie and go by the rules, than be “smart” and end up as a loser.

Sincerely,
 

Tzvi Szajnbrum, Attorney at Law